I am aghast. Astounded. Speechless.
I laughed. I cried. I made whimpering noises. I stared in abject horror.
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"Microsoft sent this tape to retailers to explain the benefits of Windows 386. Boring until the 7 minute mark when the production is taken over by crack-smoking monkeys."
There's a shorter (just the crack-smoking monkeys part?) version, which is what I originally watched, on YouTube (embedded on gizmodo).